Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Riff Story Spider and the Fly


My favorite book was the Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt. The opening line was: “Will you walk into my parlor?” said the spider to the Fly.

 “Will you walk into my parlor?” said the Spider to the Fly. The fly did not know what to do for she heard stories about this sneaky spider. He would lure helpless, defenseless, and naïve bugs into his beautiful home but they would never see the light of day again. She also knew that her mother taught her about stranger danger, and she did not know the spider. The fly said to the spider, “I must go, it is not safe for me here and I do not know you.” “My name is Phil and your name is Mel. See? Now we know each other,” said the spider with a devious smile on his face. Again the fly did not know what to do; she got up and said, “My mother is expecting me at home now I must go.” The spider started growing irritated and the fly could see this for the look he gave her would send and grown bug to their knees. She had to leave; had to get out, but how? The fly looked up and it was as if heavens lights were showing her the way for a window was open only 20 inches away. Back and forth she looked from the window to the spider knowing that he had to be distracted with something in order to be able to get away.

The fly looked around waiting for something to pop out in an obvious, “Hey use me!” kind of way. She looked around one more time and found the object that would get her out of danger. It was a picture of the spider’s family in which she knew the old tale of their death and how it had destroyed the nice characteristics of the spider long ago. Even though she knew she asked the spider anyways. “Is this your family?” said the fly to the spider. The spider stated, “Why yes it is but there gone now in a much better place.” The fly could see the agony in the spider’s eyes; this was not something he talked about often.  The fly kept pushing though, “Mr. Spider what happened to them?” He looked from her to the photo and said, “Yes, I guess you are too young to remember the tragic story.” He walked over to the photo and took it in his hands, he looked down at the photo and the fly thought this is the time to go, yet she couldn’t. Her feet felt like 900 pound blocks because she wanted to hear the story now and she also felt bad about bringing the spider’s family into the problem she was having. The spider started to sniffle and said, “I haven’t always been this mean and conceited. I once was a very nice spider who couldn’t hurt a fly.” The fly had a hard time believing this because she knew all the stories about how the spider would bring you into his parlor and you would never see the light of day again. She also knew of the grave yard that he had in his back yard for all the bugs that entered his home. Yet something in his voice told her that he wasn’t lying. The spider looked up and said, “I am sorry if I have scared you. I know you want to leave, but will you stay with me a little longer so I can have the company.” The fly was filled with compassion for she could see it on his face, all he wanted was a friend, someone to share his life story with. The fly said, “I will stay, but you cannot eat me. Also, you have to stop being so mean to people.” The spider smiled and said, “Would you like to hear the story of my family know?” They walked into the forbidden parlor together and sat down in front of the fire place.

The spider began his story. “When I was younger my family and I always used to hangout. Family was a big deal to us and we never wasted anytime with each other. We used to laugh, play games, watch movies, and go places together.” The fly started to tear up. “The day of the fire was a day I will never forget. I lost all of my family.” The fly said, “Who all died in the fire if I may ask?” The spider looked at her and said, “I lost my mother, father, grandparents, and all 10 of my siblings, and my girlfriend at the time.” “That fire destroyed everything I lived for and it happened because of me.” The fly looked astounded for she had not heard that it had been the spiders fault. She simply looked at him with dismay waiting to hear the rest. The spider could see the shock in her eyes and said, “I didn’t do it on purpose. I was trying to make a nice dinner for everyone and when I lit a candle the flame grew and grew before I could stop it. I made everyone go upstairs beforehand so I could surprise them. The top floor was what went first. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could but it was too late the flames had already engulfed the entire upstairs. I thought for a few minutes that maybe I should stay and die with them. It also hadn’t hit me yet the extremeness of the situation.” The fly was now crying and couldn’t help but grab the spiders hand and say, “I am so sorry.” The spider continued, “I jumped out the window and when I hit the ground I ran to the tree in the back of the yard. I watched my house burn down along with my family. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t blink everything was happening so fast. It wasn’t till 3 weeks later did the real extent of the damage hit me.” The fly was now balling and she went up to the spider and hugged him as tight as she could. She said to him, “That wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. I do have a question?” The spider looked at her waiting for her question. The fly began, “The graveyard in your back yard is that… your family?” The spider nodded in reply. The fly couldn’t help but cry for she hadn’t known all of the judgmental things people said about him were not true. He was simply a spider looking for friend just like me and you.

3 comments:

  1. Whitzo,
    Your rendition of this story is so wonderfully done. I really liked how you took the story and put a more positive spin on it. In my opinion, yours is definitely more "kid friendly."
    Your character development is flawless. To the reader, as well as the fly, the spider starts out as a character to be feared, but in revealing his past, he becomes one to be related to and maybe even pitied. One can also really follow the fly’s thoughts as the story progresses which really shows a lot about her as a character.
    The story seamlessly incorporates each part a story should have, even though the reader doesn’t realize it while reading. I would say the climax is when the fly is deciding how to leave and thinks the spider is about to eat her and then the falling action is the spider explaining what happened to his family. Your resolution was my favorite part though. ‘Twas only one sentence but it tied the story up beautifully.
    I think your ending was simple yet perfect for the story. Endings are one of the hardest parts for me, so props to you for doing so well. I was really happy that this story did not end like the first one with the fly dying. That’s a grim fate for one to have.
    The thing that stuck out the most to me was your ending. It served both as a message and something to tie up all the loose ends in the story. Overall, this was fantastic and sad.


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  2. 1. the new story contains a lot of the same themes but a different outcome th fly becomes the friend of the spider.

    2. the characters are very developed except for the fly she as said in the story he name is only mentioned one time, but even then it was from the spider how did he know her name?

    3. This stories introduction could have described the fly a little more but other than that it was a great introduction.

    4. Yes, this story satified me for the simple fact that we as people judge all the time and it hurts those who recieve to much. Those who recieve very little criticism control the social statuses.

    5. The one thing that stood out to me is the fact the spider had a girlfriend and he couldnt hurt a fly but spiders eat bugs including flies so what was he making for dinner moths?

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  3. 1.) First off, great story and good use of imagination. Well of course you have kind of the same themes as the original book. However, you did a great job changing the resolution.
    2.) The characters were developed good. Such as the spider, you learn about its past and learn the persoality of the spider. And the flie, It shows how scared he was but, also showed he is good at talking his way out of things.
    3.) The rising action was good (the flie getting trapped). Climax was great ( flie needing to escape from the spider). Falling action needs a little work and the resolution was the best because they became friends.
    4.) The ending like i said before is my favorite part. But what happens to the flie? Does the spider ever kill any flies after that?
    5.) What really stuck out was that the spider was tricky and sneaky. You would think he wouldve still ate the flie. So his personality changes alot.

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