Epilogue

Through creative writing I have learned to open up more and express what I feel inside. I have learned that the more I talk about myself the better I feel because I get things off my chest, that are making me miserable. Some of the things that I hope to improve on is my patience for people, also my lack of self confidence in myself. The more that I talked about my achievements and all that I have done it made me realize just how much confidence I really do have. This assignment has helped me with writing by being able to fluff things and make them the length needed. It also helped me put more feeling into my writing making it easier to complete the assignments given. It helped me discover the exact kind of person I am. Even reading some of the blogs showed me what I like and don’t like about people. The three words that would best describe me are country, outgoing, and mellow. These words can be found/explained in almost every blog that I have posted. I loved creative writing and would persuade others to take it. I have learned more about myself then I ever knew.

a fine line

Best things about me

1. good driver
2. decent cooker
3. always being positive
4. being honest
5. good singer
6. when I truly want something I go for it
7. good friend
8. good hunter
9. great girlfriend
10. mellow/laid back

Worst things about me

1. Lack of patience
2. bad temper
3. procrastinator
4. lazy
5. shy
6. laid back
7. degrading myself
8. trust issues
9. organizing skills
10. eating a lot

Valuable lessons

1. Never give up. I have learned that if you give up you might have just missed your goal.
2. Listen to mom and dad. they are older than you and they have learned from the same kind of mistakes so take their advice, and take it seriously.
3. Don't procrastinate. I still do procrastinate but I learned its less stressful to do something before the due date. Doesn't mean I will always follow this but I will try.
4. Always tell someone how you feel. the last day I saw my grandpa I didn't get to say I love you. That was the last day I ever saw him and spoke to him again.
5. Love your neighbors as yourself. This is in the bible and its in there for a reason. If you treat others like you treat yourself than you will have less drama and more friends.
6. Speak your mind. I hate drama, its stupid and immature. if someone is a drama starter tell them to knock it off. If you keep your mouth shut it will keep happening and worsen our time.
7. Thank God for everything. I have prayed more this year than I think I have in my entire life. Not only for good grades but for friends. Now I have both good and friends and grades.
8. Patience is a virtue. I have always lacked with patience but since starting P.C. I have tried to be more patient with things and my life reflects how much easier it has been.
9. Be honest. lying never gets anyone anywhere and it can hurt others as well as yourself.
10. Love like crazy. everything you do should have enough passion behind it that you want to continue to do it and love to as well. also showing love towards others will get you farther in life than hating everyone and everything.

Creating a list and checking it twice

1.      People who have influenced me

My mom

My grandma

My dad

Both my cousins

My great grandpa

My friends

2.      Places that make me happy

The woods

Outside

Theme Parks

My room

My grandparents’ house

This spot that is by our pond that no one can see

3.      Places I would like to go

New York

Paris

Greece

Ireland

Hawaii

Jamaica

Bahamas

Africa

Italy

Alaska

4.      Things in people that I like

Sense of humor

Ability to make me laugh

Steering clear of drama

Not starting drama

Honesty

Trust

5.      Things in people that I dislike

Drama makers

Unfaithful

Back stabbers

Attitude

Arrogance

Know-it-alls

6.      Things that worry me

Life

Bad hair days

“We need to talk”

Fighting

Losing my parents

School

Losing friends

When friends are sick

When my parents won’t answer there phone

7.      Things I would like to know how to do

Knee board

Speak Italian

Drive a motorcycle

Cook

Not be a procrastinator

Sew

8.      Things that have moved me

Music

Movies

When people do something kind

My relationship

My parents

When my great grandpa died

9.      Ideas that intrigue me

People think you can get through life on a fast food salary

People thinking college isn’t important

When guys think it’s the girls fault for being knocked up instead of it being equal

People choosing other things over their kids

The fact that people on welfare don’t have to take a drug test

When people think they can run your life for you

10.  My personal favorites

Summer

Sweet tea

Nascar

My enchiladas

Country music

My boyfriend J

gone but never forgotten

1.       My will. My will to do things is very important if I truly want something done, I get it done no matter what.

2.       My attitude. I don’t let people step on me and I don’t want that to change as I get older.

3.       My friends. My friends are people I will have in my life for the rest of my life and that’s something I want to remember so that I can keep them.

4.       My voice. I love to sing and whether or not I am a good singer I don’t ever want to stop.

5.       No regrets. I want to remember that everything I did was for a reason and it has helped me grow as a person.

6.       My Aaron. I want to remember how much I was in love with him.

7.       My dreams. My dream in life is to have everything I have ever wanted I want to look back and say I did it.

8.       No money worries. I don’t want to have to worry about money just like I don’t worry now.

9.       My lack of patience. I want to remember my lack of patience that way I will learn to have more.

10.   Don’t take life to seriously. Always do what you want to don’t let life hold you back from achieving things you want to.

11.   My organization skills. This way my life will remain organized and together.

12.   Gas prices. I hear people reminiscing about how gas used to be so cheap, I hope it never gets to that point but if so I want to remember the gas prices. ($3.50 give or take)

13.   Outdoors. I don’t want to forget the kind of background I came and if I have children I want them to be raised the same way.

14.   My ability to make people like me. I love to make new friends and I want to continue to be able to do that.

15.   My ability to make people happy when their down.

16.   My ability to scare the hell out of people even though I am not a mean person.

17.   My ability to act like a teddy bear but have the attitude that no one can mess with me.

18.   My protectiveness towards family and friends.

19.   My love for animals.

20.   How much fun I had in high school and all the memories I made.

Never say good-bye

There are so many times that I have had to say goodbye… Some worse than others but for the most part the hurt and tears were about the same. I have never been good with goodbyes because I don’t like to cry. Normally when I do cry it’s something that really bothers me or it has hurt me bad enough to show deep emotion. The worst goodbye I ever had to say was to my great grandpa that died but when I said my goodbye he was already gone so I don’t think that will really count. My other worse goodbye was to my first dog when I was little he got hit and when I saw him he wasn’t gone yet and I said goodbye but I don’t think that particularly works either. So for one that does work would be 2 years ago saying goodbye to my grandparents because they moved half way across the U.S. They are currently living in Wyoming and it has been a year since I have seen them.

                The hardest part about saying goodbye to them was my brother and I were always with them. They were grandparents you could depend on. If I needed to be picked up from school to go to a doctor appointment or I needed someone to watch my brother while I went out they would. I also loved going over there just to hang out with them. It was hard but not as hard as I thought to say goodbye because of the reasoning behind them moving. My grandpas company that he worked for started to go downhill and so did the retirement money. They weren’t going to make enough in a week to even just barely survive. For what little time my grandpa had left in the working field he had to get something better. A family friend works for the highway department in Wyoming. When a job opened up he offered it to my grandpa and my grandpa almost didn’t have a choice it had what he needed and not many places were hiring around here in his field of experties. He went for a job interview and we (being the family) didn’t think much about it. We didn’t really think they would end up moving so far away. When he got back it wasn’t two weeks later they were packing their things to leave. My grandma wasn’t leaving the same day as my grandpa because she had some other stuff she had to take care of but my grandpa had to get to his new job. The day he left we had a big party and when it was over the tears started to pour. I have never ever seen my grandpa cry and when I did that made it that much worse. Plus everyone else was crying. My grandpa and I were pretty close and so when we hugged and said goodbye it was really hard to let go. My grandma was even worse. She was what held my mom and I together she was our middle the compromise between every argument. She is awesome.

                They are only gone for 5 years hopefully just enough for my grandpa to get the money to retire. It still feels like eons though.

In other words

Psalms 23:4

                “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For thow art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

                “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Dr. Seuss

                “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to change, it’s not.”

Matthew 19:26

                “With God all things are possible.”

Marilyn Monroe

                “Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.”

Marilyn Monroe

                “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Stitch (Lilo and Stitch the movie)

                “Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”

Souza

                “Dance as though no one is watching you, love as tough you have never been hurt before, sing as though no one can hear, live as though heaven is on earth.

Mae West

                “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

The Notebook

                “It may seem as the hardest thing to do, but you have to forget the guy who forgot about you.”

The Notebook

                “Life without love, is no live at all.”

Rocky Balboa

                “You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.”

Synetics

Which is wiser? a pen or pencil? I believe a pen is wiser because with a pen you have to make the right choices first. For with a pen you cannot erase what’s already been done.

Which is smarter? A clock or a calendar? I think a calendar is smarter because the calendar spands for a long length of time and you keep track of holidays and birthdays. A calendar also is important for keeping track of stuff in your everyday life, especially things like school work and when it is due.

Which is easier to teach? a question or an answer? I believe an answer is easier to teach because there are so many different ways to get the answer but there is only one answer. Just like math, there might be several ways to figure it out but when it comes down to it 3+3=6, 3*2=6 and either way 3 is doubled to equal 6.

Which is more fearful? new or old? I would say new is more fearful because even though you might like the adventure to start something new it is still scary to go to a different routine then what you are used to. Old is what stays the same and has been the same, in a way you know what is coming.

Which is more difficult? a dream or a nightmare? I think a dream is more difficult because nightmares are fearful but we forget about them. Dreams are something our heart/mind desires, dreams are more difficult because even though you want to accomplish them you can’t always and nothing is to be accomplished in a nightmare.

Which is braver? an hour or a year? To me, and hour is braver. There is less time to plan to do something. For instance, if you are diffusing a bomb and you have 30 seconds the bravery that comes from the adrenaline rush is far greater than if you had an hour.

Which is easier to close? a road or a map? A map to me is easier to close because you can follow the road to where ever you feel like going but closing a road cuts off some of your options and those could be the ones to change your life.

Which is more useful? a friend or an enemy? I believe a friend is more useful because friends are there for you when you need them. They also are there when you want to do something stupid.

Which is more trustworthy? history or literature? I say literature is more trustworthy. You never know who wrote the history and who could’ve twisted crucial parts to stories.

Which is happier? music or art? I would say music is happier because music can describe the way you feel and depending on the song it can make you in a better mood. I also think music is art.

un finished sentences

1. I usually worry about my family. My family means everything to me and with my parents commute to work and back scares me. They both work in Carthage and drive the interstate back and forth every day.

2. I feel angry when someone insults my family. People sometimes say rude things about my family and I tell them don’t do it again or it’s going to go down. My family is for me to say something about. My family is no better or worse than others, so don’t judge.

3. I’m moody when my boyfriend won’t listen to me. He is normally really good about listening to what I have to say on certain things but we but heads with his driving. My mood can go from great to nasty in the matter of seconds if I get in an argument with him.

4. I’m happiest when I am hanging out with my friends and family. I love to laugh and my friends make me laugh all the time, along with my family. Also, no matter what kind of fight we are in if my friends or family need me I am there and vice versa.

5. I feel confident when my mom is by side helping me through the situation. Some say, “Oh you’re too old to have your mom by your side every step of the way.” That’s not the case. My mom and I are very close even though we don’t always get along. She has helped me through many situations without even saying much.

6. I feel frustrated when my mom and I argue and she won’t let me say anything. When arguing you have to hear both sides of the story because you have to see it from both perspectives. My mom sometimes doesn’t do this and it makes our arguments that much worse because she thinks I am just back talking.

7. I feel depressed when it’s a Friday night and I have no one to hang out with. I am not allowed to do some of the stuff my friends do so it makes it hard to hangout because they want to run and go do stuff. When I am at home and I get on Facebook and see them having a fun time is when I feel the most depressed.

8. I am comfortable when I am jeans and a t-shirt. I am not a big fan of dressing up for two reasons. One, being dressed up isn’t always comfortable and I hate not being comfortable. Two, you never know when you might have to get dirty or get into a fight or anything remotely close to those things so wearing jeans and a t-shirt you are always prepared.

9. I feel nervous when I get in front of a big group of people. Yesterday we had our NHS indictment and we had to light a candle, I was shaking so bad because everything was silent and all eyes were on me. I hate the feeling that I might do something wrong in front of a bunch of people.

10. I feel sentimental when I look at old pictures of me and my grandpa. He was like a father to me and I really miss him. Although I miss him a lot, I know he is in a better place so I am not necessarily sad just reminiscing with the memories I have of him.

Extended Metaphor

16. If I were a television character, I would be Emma off of Once Upon a Time because like her I don’t like I don’t like people relying on me.

                I am a reliable person when I need to be, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t like the full waited responsibilities for other people. She has to believe in a curse so that way she can save the entire town from Regina the evil queen. This relates to me in a way that I have had to be strong for everyone when all I wanted to do was crumble to my knees. I am more of one to go out and do it by myself then to try and have other people with me, so I end up having to worry about them as well as myself.

20. If I were a word, I would be calm because I am always a calm and laid back person.

                I have always been very laid back. I don’t jump to conclusions or freak out and have to fight someone who talked bad about me or said something to me. I normally either box it in if it bothers me or just let it roll off my shoulders. I hate drama so I have come to learn the calmer I can be the less drama I am in. Unless people drag me into because then they tend to get mad at the fact that I won’t pick sides because I hate drama. Staying calm is a goal I have in my life. Kind of like the Hulk.

9. If I were a type of building, I would be a barn because I am down to earth and built sturdy.

               Barns are what I grew up in, figuratively of course. Anyways, I am a very down to earth person. I am kind to everyone and I am built sturdy just like a barn. Barns take so many beatings when bad whether comes and even though they are barely made of anything they with stand almost anything. That is a lot like me because I have been through a lot and I am still standing and holding my head strong. Barns are exactly my personality.

Sensory Experience- when my grandpa died

See:

White walls surround me like a snake who is squeezing the life out of me.

Everyone in scrubs, all different kinds; plain, animals, princess’s

Everyone around me, hugging me

 

Taste:

The last cup of pudding he would ever give me

hand sanitizer as it makes it way through the air and on my taste buds

Salty tears as they pour down my face

 

Hear:

My tears are silent for I cannot speak but I hear others wale in disbelief

The hum of my thoughts because I have blocked everything else

The heart monitor going flat.

My mother saying at least he was here for 7 birthday.

 

Touch/feel:

The cold floor beneath me

My warm hand holding onto to his cold touch

Death as it pours into the room like a faucet that you can't turn off

 

Smell:

Hospital food as it is taken out of his room

Latex gloves while the nurses unhook the machines

Baby lotion as I lean in and lay my little head on my grandpa’s hand one last time

Symbolic Recipe

Ingredients for me:

15 cups of kindness

2 cups of patience

5 tbsp of sarcasm

3 tbsp of worry

6 cups of curiosity

1 tsp of trouble-maker

1 gallon of no drama

4 cups of friendship

3 cups of honesty

7 cups of faith

1 cup of annoyance

9 cups of respect

Step 1: You will first mix together 2 cups of patience and 1 cup of annoyance. That way it is well blended and patience takes over. Then, in a separate bowl, you will mix together 1 gallon of no drama and 4 cups of friendship that way you can choose friends wisely without being mean. After, also in a different bowl, that you will mix together 3 tbsp of worry, 6 cups of curiosity, 1 tsp of trouble-maker, and 3 cups of honesty. This blend needs to be completely smooth the honesty and worry will work together to overcome the curiosity to cause trouble. Set all of these ingredients aside to be mixed in later. DO NOT MIX ANY OF THESE TOGETHER, THIS CONCOCTION CAN CAUSE SERIOUS DAMAGE.

Step 2: The next step is to pour 9 cups of respect into a bowl and then slowly mix in 7 cups of faith. The reason you do this slowly is because you have to make sure that you not only respect others but have faith in the things that they do. You also mix these to so that the respect you have for God mixes with your faith in Him. After that, in the same bowl you will mix in 5 tbsp of sarcasm. Make sure to get this ingredient completely mixed in that way your sarcasm will still show respect. Last thing with your ingredients is to mix it all in a fairly large bowl. Make sure it is all smooth with the least amount of rough edges. It is okay to have a few because no one is perfect. Finally, you take your last ingredient, 15 cups of kindness. You will mix then in with everything. The kindness will dilute the annoyance and sarcasm and at the same time keep faith and respect at its high level.

Step 3: Let sit for 3-4 hours and you will have the perfect blend for making me.

Personal metaphors

1.       If I were an animal, I would be a poodle because I have really curly hair.

2.       If I were a car, I would be a hummer because I am hard headed.

3.       If I were an article of clothing, I would be a pair of jeans because I am always there and I am willing to get my hands dirty (in a working kind of way).

4.       If I were a day of the week, I would be a Thursday because just like a Thursday I am an overall great and I am Bayless’s favorite.

5.       If I were a food, I would be a spicy buffalo chicken wing because I am spicy on the outside and once you get to know I am good to the bone. 

6.       If I were a color, I would be green because I am a very calm person and I love being outdoors.

7.       If I were a movie, I would be Romance/Action movie because I love excitement but I also love happy endings.

8.       If I were a fragrance, I would be Cashmere because I am sweet.

9.       If I were a type of building, I would a barn because I am down to earth and built sturdy.

10.   If I were a plant, I would be a lily because there beautiful but you have to look past the ugly stock.

11.   If I were a musical instrument, I would be a violin because the outer beauty does not compare to inner that comes out when played.

12.   If I were a geometric shape, I would be a circle because what you see is what you get.

13.   If I were piece of furniture, I would be a recliner because I am really laid back.

14.   If I were a song, I would be Just Fishin’ by Alan Jackson because I love my dad and I love to fish.

15.   If I were an appliance or machinery, I would be a refrigerator because I can hold so much on my shoulders but I do have a breaking point.

16.    If I were a television character, I would be Emma off of Once Upon a Time because like her I don’t like a lot of people relying on.

17.     If I were a season of the year, I would be spring because like spring I have my good and bad days.

18.     If I were a natural phenomenon, I would be an earthquake because I lay low and can be calm for a long time but then when I am angry enough I can cause real damage.

19.     If I were a cartoon or comic character, I would be princess bubble gum from adventure time because I want a rainbow unicorn that fly’s.

20.     If I were a word, I would be calm because I am always a calm, laid back person.
  

The ultimate all-purpose excuse

The point of this post is to make a long excuse of why I didn’t do something and then I get caught. I am not one to make a lot of excuses like “My dog ate my homework” “I had a late night at work”. I normally get done what’s needed to be done because not only do my grades suffer for my laziness but I do to because it is not acceptable with my mother. So here is my scenario. I walk into class Monday morning and the teacher assigns a new project that is due that following Friday. Just like every kid does, I procrastinate and wait till Wednesday to even think about starting on the big project.  I decide what I want to do and get most everything planned out. I wait to tell my mom that I need to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff, until it’s too late to be out on a school night. I think well I’ll get it tomorrow. Then Thursday roles around and we end up going out to eat and hanging out with some family and again I don’t make it to Wal-Mart. It’s Thursday night and its 11 o’clock and I don’t have anything done. So I begin to devise the ULTIMATE EXCUSE to tell my teacher about how I had such a God awful weak and there were family problems and I never made it Wal-Mart, my mom hasn’t even went to buy groceries yet. I wouldn’t be completely lying because we didn’t have time to go to Wal-Mart and my mom really hadn’t been grocery shopping yet, that is why we went out to eat. Friday morning comes and I go to my teacher and tell her the whole thing and I ask for an extension on my assignment. She looks at me and I know I have been caught. She tells me I saw you at the restaurant last night and it was only 5:00, you still had time to make a quick trip to Wal-Mart. I instantly start thinking up more ideas because not only will I be in big trouble for not doing the assignment but I am also going to get into trouble for lying. Maybe one more excuse will do the trick. I then start to make myself tear up and tell her, “I am sorry I just didn’t want to tell you the truth. I did procrastinate but then my mom told me we didn’t have enough money that I would have to come up with something else. I was really embarrassed because I would be the only kid to not have the right material. Yesterday we went out to eat because our grandparents took us because we haven’t been able to afford groceries. If I could just have this extension, my mom gets paid today and I can get everything done this weekend.” The teacher takes my excuse because my mom really did get paid today and we hadn’t had a lot of money but we had enough for a poster board.

Likes & Dislikes

My Likes:

1.        My boyfriend, I love him J that is all.

2.        Men, especially the hot ones. :P

3.        My phone, I probably couldn’t live without my phone, not even for social reasons, but because it has saved me several times.

4.        Hot wings, buffalo style hot wings are my favorite. They are heaven on a bone.

5.        BBQ food. Any kind of BBQ food is good. Chicken, Bacon, Turkey, Cow, all of it is good.

6.        Bacon, bacon should be its own food group. End of story.

7.         Monster (energy drink), I don’t ever get hyper but I like the taste of the drink.

8.        Scary movies, I have watched more scary movies than I can count. I love the anticipation and the suspense.

9.        Pinterest, one of the best things ever invented. It has everything.

10.     Videogames, I love all video games, I think there fun and some of them have awesome graphics.

11.     Camo. Camo should be its own color. J Half of my wardrobe is camo.

12.     Sweet Tea, I have sweet tea at least once a day every day. I love the taste and everything about it.

13.     Guns, I love shooting guns like my .243 and my mom’s XDM.

14.     Motorcycles. Harleys are my favorite but I just love the feeling of being on a motorcycle.

15.     My four-wheeler. I have wrecked it, ran into stuff, and she still runs perfectly.

16.     My truck. My truck is my baby, it’s my first vehicle so I treat it like it’s my most prized possession.

My Dislikes:

1.        Drama, when people try to pull me into something that is their problem or when people try to create random drama with me.

2.        People who create drama, the people who go around and try to stir the pot with people drive me up a wall!

3.        Vegetables, I just don’t like the taste of them unless they are covered in ranch or Panera’s broccoli and cheddar soup.

4.        Spiders, I hate all spiders. Small ones, big ones, there all the same.

5.        When people post things to Pinterest and they don’t actually work.

6.        Sleeping with socks on, I have closterphobic feet so I can’t stand to have something on them when I sleep.

7.        My cousin who goes to the same school and is a senior, he is annoying and beats up on me all the time but I only love him sometimes.

8.        Government (not the class), it’s my opinion and I hate when people argue and argue their point of why they like something

9.        Pranks, I think some people go overboard with pranks. Some pranks actually hurt or are completely humiliating.

10.     Cigarettes, I hate the smell.

11.     Extremely lazy people, I am lazy but people who don’t even try to make a living for themselves drive me crazy, because then they are trying to get on welfare and use our money for there lazyiness.

12.     Ill-mannered people, people who don’t know how to act in public. Their loud and obnoxious.

13.     Egotistic people, especially the ones who think there better than everyone else.

14.      My boyfriend’s driving; he acts like he is the only one on the road.

15.     Slow drivers, if the speed limit says 45 or 65 then that’s the speed you go!

16.     Facebook status’s; Facebook is to keep in touch with people or sharing something funny not posting everything about your life every 2 hours.